This past week has been hard but I’m trying my damndest.
You’ve been inviting me over every day but I keep saying no.
Because I’m terrified that I’ll go too far and lose something private.
That somehow, a storm will reign and I’ll barely get home.
With lightening colored skin.
The world has been against me for thirteen days.
And I feel like today is the worst.
Trying to bully words onto a sliver of paper.
And ignore the screaming around me.
Because sometimes it’s better that way, to just ignore what’s going on?
But that doesn’t make me any less responsible.
And you come in when my eyes reach the floor.
And my heart reaches lower, and you try to wrap every limb around me.
Like an octopus, except you hurt like a jellyfish.
You’re just trying to cheer me up but you’re saying all the wrong things.
I tell you to stop, I’m begging you to just put the phone down and stop talking to me.
Because you’re making everything so much worse.
Your dry humor just makes light of my emotions.
And I know you don’t mean to, but you’re transforming me into a ghost.
Except I’m stuck to the Earth when all I want to do is float away.
For once in my life, I don’t want you to be my anchor.
To keep my mind a white screen and my heart blue.
I want the torrents to crash into me, to break my bones.
Maybe make me feel something.