Love's Loss Found

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Pain is physical and emotional all at once. You love someone so bad it hurts your chest. Your heart pounding beneath your breast, feels like its about to burst, wishing you never fell for him first. He tears you to pieces but you keep hoping he'll realize you're there and give you a love-sick stare, instead of his usual glare. He flirts, but not when she's around, the one who's prettier, the one he's happy he found. Your heart continues, ripping at your skin. Yet you still hope, pretending that you'll win. He gives you an over-the-shoulder glance and never looks back again. You go home and cry in bed, puddles of tears beneath your head, going over and over the things he said when he lied and played the game. And at the end you're left to blame. You wanted him, your heart didn't want the same. Grab the sewing kit, try to stitch it back together. Try to make it better. After a while you'll forget, but your heart will remember forever, and every time you fall in love, it will show the pain. You'll feel it and back away scared, insane. Convince yourself there's nothing to gain. Scarred forever, no turning back, what you need your heart will lack. You broke it, now its never gonna be the same, you lost the hardest game. You'll push away the ones who really care, the ones who love you for real. You'll be alone because you're scared, with your heart you made a deal. No more pain for either of you, no more pain or heartache to go through. Promise yourself, you don't need anyone, go home and grab your daddy's gun, pull the trigger, not even waiting to see the sun, so much happier your life is done. That boy you loved will hear the news and cry as he puts on his dress shoes. All you wanted was a chance and he couldn't even give you a second glance. He thinks back to all the times you smiled at him, tears running down his face. He'll go to the cemetary and try to find your place. Rose in hand he's full of regret, he knows its all his fault. Another lesson taught. They lower the casket into the ground, he throws in his rose and turns around, walking away without a sound. She is waiting by his car, leaning on the door. He looks up and notices, she's not as pretty as before. She opens her arms to comfort him, he turns his gaze away, back to where your family is, huddled in their crowd, his heart pounding so loud. He looks back at her, the pretty one, shakes his head and says, "We're done." She looks surprised and backs away, slaps him in his face. He flinches but doesn't lose his place, gets in his car and pulls out the picture you gave, he knows its one he'll never lose, one he'll always save. He gets home, throws his keys by the phone, and grabs a picture of his own. He fills an empty picture frame with that picture of you. Right beside yours is his too.Now next time he falls in love he will think of you. He'll notice the ones in the back, the one's who look so shy. All the prettier girls will look puzzled and wonder why. You'll look down from Heaven, through the big, blue sky, and smile, for he has changed his ways. He sees what he used to be and regrets with everything he's got what he made you do, and realize the whole time he really was in love with you. And now you're gone, you have been for so long, but everyday he goes to your grave, and apologizes a million times. Tells you he should have read the signs. He grows old, never marries, looks forward to his death, because he knows he'll see you soon. He dies in his sleep, they discover him around noon. You wait for him he arrives at the gate and looks into your eyes. You look back and search, but see no lies. Cautiously you open the gate and extend your hand. He takes it and pulls you close, all your life this is what you wanted most. He finds your lips and kisses you, you kiss back and whisper I love you! He pulls away and smiles bright, "I love you too, I always have, I'm so ashamed, if I could have just seen the light we could have had the greatest life..." You raise your finger to his lips and say, "Shut up you fool, can't you see we're together now, forever?" He looks at you and smiles, "I'll never leave you..never! From now on it will be so much better, I promise you. I do!" "I know," you say and grab his hand. You begin to walk away, both of you are happy. Together now at last, You close your eyes, feel the wind and think about the past. The pain is gone your heart is sewn. He places your hand on his heart, you place his on your own. Each beat matches up perfectly each and every time, you now know you're not alone and that you'll be just fine. Back on ground his death, of course, has caused quite a stir, you're surprised to hear the pretty one say, " Bury him next to her."
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