Lost In Disguise

Location

40071
United States
38° 2' 9.2112" N, 85° 22' 32.25" W

I sit by my window,
watching as the sky turns a crimson gold.
Dreaming, thinking, hoping-
But then there is a soft whirring,
I look up…
The grinding of tires can be heard as my Father rolls in.
My room turns dark and cold as I drag my fingers across the light switch…
I hear the garage door creak,
and the rigid footsteps of his boots.
I rush to the kitchen with a huge smile…
Only to have it fade away as I see the sullen look in his eyes.
They glisten with tears for just a moment,
but then his expression is blank and unreadable.
My heart pounds as he trudges past me…
There are so many questions fluttering through my head,
like many butterflies in an open field.

I hold my tongue…
this isn’t the time to bother him.
Putting my pajamas on while trying to listen to what my parents are whispering about...
I silently creep to my parent’s door,
it is shut...
Tears fill my eyes as I hear what is being said,
and I wish I hadn’t eavesdropped.
He had lost his job;
we wouldn’t be able to pay for all the things I enjoyed.

I cry myself to sleep that night,
thinking of the blessings that I would miss most of all.
I wouldn’t be able to be a cheerleader anymore,
nor could I play my music.
I wouldn’t have the time to spend with friends,
or the means to travel to their houses.
I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the luxuries I had had,
and knowing that I would not have them again...

The next day, our family of seven sat at the table,
Dad was going to give us the bad news...
I could see it in his eyes.
My heart stopped as I fumbled for what to say after he shared the news.
I opened my mouth but no words came out,
but tears splattered on the table.

Why us?

My Mother reassures us that we will be okay,
I can’t see how we will make it.
Throughout the day I realize how hard it must have been in the time of the Depression.
I pray and hope our lives will be better again someday.
I go through my week in motions,
knowing I will go home after school and not be able to enjoy my other activities.

After a time, I do begin to see the fun in being at home,
just spending time with family.
I can’t eat all of the junk food I used to;
It’s too expensive for us;
But I still have the luxuries of being able to eat food and not starving.

After two weeks, we had found a smaller, more affordable house that we could still fit into.
We moved immediately.
I miss the warmth of the old house-
How it would pull me in to its arms,
reassure me of the comfort of home living.

I have become happier in the passing days.
My family and I play board games.
We sit down to talk or read with each other,
instead of being on the computer or watching TV...
The blessings we used to have seem like they are too far to touch anymore,
But I know we will make it together.
God will be to us like what a dog is to man
and a rocking chair is to the elderly-
Loyal and heartwarming.
We will not be alone in the midst of all this lightning.

Before the storm of this privation,
we weren’t thankful for our blessings;
We didn’t spend time with family,
like many snowflakes falling,
melting before they hit the ground.
Like we were lost in disguise,
only to be found again.

I sit by my window,
watching as the sky turns a crimson gold.
Dreaming, thinking, hoping-
Wishing for my life to come back to me,
but thankful for the bond I now have with my family.
I climb into bed;
my room is a fortress all around me.
This is what keeps me safe and hopeful for another day.

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