Log #5

 I am hanging in the bathroom
At the biggest party of the fall
I could stay right here or disappear
And nobody'd even notice at all

I'm a creeper in a bathroom
'Cause my buddy kinda left me alone
But I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly
Or pretend to check a text on my phone

Everything felt fine
When I was half of a pair
For no fault of mine
There's no other half there

Now I'm just
Quentin in the bathroom
Quentin in the bathroom at a party
Forget how long it's been
I'm just
Quentin in the bathroom
Quentin in the bathroom at a party
No you can't come in
I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave
And picking at grout as I softly grieve
I'm just Quentin who you don't know
Quentin flying solo
Quentin in the bathroom by himself
All by himself

I am hiding but he's out there
Just ignoring all our history
Memories get erased
And I'll get replaced
With a newer cooler version of me

And I hear a drunk girl
Sing along to Whitney through the door
"I wanna dance with somebody"
And my feelings sink
'Cause it makes me think
Now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore

Now it's just
Quentin in the bathroom
Quentin in the bathroom at a party
I half regret the beers
Quentin in the bathroom
Quentin in the bathroom at a party
As I choke back the tears
I'll wait as long as I need 'til my face is dry
Or I'll just blame it on weed
Or something in my eye
I'm just Quentin who you don't know
Quentin flying solo
Quentin in the bathroom by himself

Knock knock knock knock
They're gonna start to shout soon
Knock knock knock knock
Oh hell yeah I'll be out soon
Knock knock knock knock
It sucks he left me here alone
Knock knock knock knock
Here in this teenage battlezone
Clang clang clang clang
I feel the pressure blowing up
Bang bang bang bang
My big mistake was showing up
Splash splash splash splash
I throw some water in my face
And I am in a better place
I go to open up the door
But I can't hear knocking anymore

And I can't help but yearn
For a different time
And then I look in the mirror
And the present is clearer
And there's no denying
I'm just

At a party
Is there a sadder sight than
Hmhmm hm hm hmhmmm
Quentin in the bathroom at a party
This is a heinous night

I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable T.v. 
Or I'd offed myself instead
Wish I was never born
I'm just Quentin who's a loner
So he must be a stoner
Rides a PT cruiser
God he's such a loser
Quentin flying solo
Who you think that you know
Quentin in the bathroom by himself
All by himself
All by himself

All you know about me is my name

Awesome party
I'm so glad I came

 

(Creds to the creators of Be more chill the musical, I just changed the lyrics I don't claim them as my own.)

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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