So I see you’ve met him.
You, whomever you may be, whatever you may be, are about to marry my best friend.
If I’m honest, I once imagined myself in your shoes. It was a funny thing, finding myself neck deep in love. In love with a person I considered very much off-limits. I denied it, for years. Whether it was five, or two, I’ll never quite determine. And even when I’d finally accepted it, I knew I would never even date him. I never could bring myself to risk a friendship which had survived the tumultuous years of puberty, could never risk anything on accord of my own feelings. Could never risk losing him.
And I hope you won’t either.
I wish you both every happiness, every joy that comes with this partnership. I wish you kisses in the rain, and pillow forts on deep summer nights. I wish you to never stop loving one another, to always be able to remember, and relish in, that first rush of exhilaration when you realized “it’s you.”
Understand that you’ll have your darker times as well, fights over the silliest things. And I hope you’re able to put it all in perspective. I hope the ocean of your love will always be immeasurable to your streams of discontent. I hope the waves can lap over to the ever persisting stream, and you can both accept the good with the bad. The bad with the good.
I’m going to tell you a few things about my dearest friend here, as I’ve got years of nearly blackmail worthy information and memories in this head. But I’ve got good ones too, beautiful ones. Butterflies and loose leaf papers on everything. And I’m sure, in time, or perhaps you already do, but you’ll be able to recognize every emotion with a mere glance. But as I believe I’ve got a couple more years of experience, let me give you a heads-up.
He is a gentle spirit, as I’m sure you’ve recognized. This is surely one of the reasons we’re here today. He likes to mull things over in his mind before giving an answer, turn those half-baked ideas to the heat of the oven, until they’re fully formed. Sometimes he won’t respond at all, and that’s okay too. He’s still listening, he always does.
He also gets stressed- frequently. When given a project he particularly wants to get right, he will often go into a bit of a frenzy, buzzing like a power line with panic, trying to get everything done on time, and well. Please remind him in these times, that it’s okay to go slowly. It’s okay to not be perfect. And for God’s sake- there are 24 hours in a day and you’ve got a week to do this. You will be alright.
He’s the kindest person I’ve ever known. There are few, genuinely, truly, good people in this world, and I’m happy to tell you that you’re lucky enough to have gotten one of them. He understands things, and always has, with a wisdom beyond his years, and with compassion and thoughtfulness that I’ve never seen in another person.
You’ll always know when he knows something you’ve been trying to hide, because he gets the most peculiar little smile on his face, like a child who’s found the missing puzzle piece. He made the same smile when I confessed a small part of my feelings, and again when I told him about her. My favorite is the knowing laugh when I was late to class that first time.
And though I may no longer be in love with him, I have every expectation you will protect his heart like a lion. Put your every fire-breathing dragon at his defence, every moat, every knight in shining armor. Keep it close to your own, and love him always.
This boy turned man, that I have seen grow and blossom like an especially tall flower, is my very best friend.
Please take care of him.
what I wish I’d said at the wedding // m.c.p.