Late Night Fear

How could life be so fragile?

A timer counting to zero, unknowing when the time began,

just letting it descend in an hourglass

and almost empty. Strike zero. Only for sand to be added and reset.

 

Is this Karma or a curse?

A Karma to allow him to live,

or a curse to hate me for eternity.

My whole body trembles at how close it all became

the same fate we all meet, the undesired effect it had

Thank those above.

 

I'm so vulnerable, so alone

I can't hold anything without it falling like a stone.

Fingers barely able to grasp reality.

Why did I try to defy and deny it?

Defy the fates, make him want to live?

Deny the truth of what I needed to do at the cost of trust?

 

How could I be so stupid?

To think I could talk him away from the ledge,

to come into the safety of my arms

I was supposed to PROTECT him!

It was my job!

It is what my position calls for.

Am I fired now that I have failed?

 

Strained conversations on unseen wires

unable to hold him afraid of what it might do.

Blood runs thick between us

turned thin in the wire mesh and separated

hoping to come togetehr again.

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