If I Get Lost
If I am lost in a storm of doubts or a cloud of fear, call Lindsey.
If I cannot find the will to go on, get Maggie.
If I am in need of light or laughter, text Isabelle or Michelle.
If I need to feel like I’m loved, like I matter, run and tell my mother.
If I just need to lean on someone, drag my brother over.
If I just need to stop and breathe, ask if Emily is available.
If I haven’t slept and need an ear to complain to, find Brooke for me.
If my gut hurts and my ribs will not open and I cannot seem to come out of my curled up shell in the corner, phone a friend or call the house.
My friends are my lifeline, and my family is my anchor.
Without them I’d never smile, never laugh, never dance.
I sing, I write, I make terrible puns,
I cry, I read, I take time for myself,
I hope, I dream, I pray, I breathe,
I remember to eat and sleep --
But without them, I would not.
I’d simply creak and shuffle along,
Trailing ink like snail tracks as I went,
Until one leg would give out, then the next,
And I’d be dragging myself along without reason,
Blind to the world and the good things in it,
Only remembering that I had to do something,
A place to be, a deadline to meet.
Not even sure of what they were or why they were necessary.
I don’t think they know all of what goes on inside my head, but
They don’t need to hear the screams echoing in my skull
In order to quiet them.
Or read the words pooling under my tongue
In order to love me.
They don’t need to see the pendulum my heart swings on
In order to slow it down.
They haven’t seen the tightly wound ball that makes up my anxiety,
But they can still unravel the worst of it.
So if I need a pick-me-up,
Or the world is turning grey,
If I feel like I am drowning and cannot find the sun,
Shout that I need help and I’m losing ground.
They’ll come.
They know what to do.