I Met a Princess With Depression (Because They Loved Her)

Sat, 10/21/2017 - 17:46 -- hguha

Once upon a time…. I met a princess

A special Princess, a rich princess, a smart princess, a kind princess

A bam spankin' bootylicious princess

One glance and the princes were enamored

She was the sun, the sky the moon those who couldn’t see her as perfect much have been blind

See,

she never had the problems that those other Disney princesses had

There was no evil step-mom,

no evil witch,

no evil god or evil goddess,

no white people trying to steal her land,

no monster,

no curse

Wait.

 

She was loved. She had friends, family, people who understood her.

Thought they understood her.

See, they had read the children’s book, they knew what curses look like, I mean you could SEE them sleeping beauty was asleep, Rapunzel’s hair glowed, Merida had a CLEAR bear problem,

but the problems of our princess were not quite so visible.

There was no curse of “sadness”

They didn’t know.

They couldn’t know.

 

How could they know that half of her smiles were forced? How could they know her fists were squeezed tight enough that her nails drew blood,

Just to make sure she could still feel.

How could they have seen that her serotonin levels were too low?

that her monster couldn’t be fought off by a prince,

That the monster lived inside her head,

telling her that she was worthless,

that she didn’t deserve love,

that she didn’t deserve life.

 

But she was loved.

Her parents her friends, they loved her.

They thought they loved her when they said,

“How could you be sad? You have everything!”

“Go for a run”

“You just need the fresh air”

“Everyone has sad spells”

“Tough it out”

Princess, you ARE tough, but maybe, just MAYBE, it isn’t toughness that you need,

just someone to believe you.

 

The monster in her head believed her.

That’s why she listened when it told her to break into her dad’s gun cabinet.

That’s why she listened when it told her to put the muzzle in her mouth.

 

Once upon a time, I met a princess.

A rich princess, a smart princess, a kind princess, a bam spankin' bootlicious princess

A depressed princess

Who refused to believe the monster that told her that it loved her

That was ripping up her amygdala,

Her thalamus,

Her hippocampus

I met a princess who took the gun out of her mouth and put it away,

Who went over to a mirror and whispered,

"Because I love you".

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