I’m fat.

There I said it.

Are you happy now?

Not like anyone let’s me forget it.

Don’t think I didn’t see those side eyes!

When you’re big, everyone notices the food in your hand.

“What is she eating now? Why doesn’t she diet”, said her younger sister.

How offensive. How degrading. How down right ignorant!

 

My legs were longer.

My shoulders broader.

My voice rougher than a crackling fire.

These things weren’t my fault.

I was born this way.

Everyone loves to comment on certain bodies

But the stomach that comes with it- they’re not so lively 

 

Calories should be counted not seen.

Double standards are abundant.

 

You’re damned if you eat.

You’re damned if you don’t.

You’re damned if you eat just a salad for lunch!

But you’re damned if you’re unable to stop at just one.

 

We love those who are thin

raise them up, shine a light.

We even love to hear of their fights

Against Eating Disorders.

Against starvation & stipulation.

 

Someone’s tipping the scale in the other direction.

FUCK OFF!

You’re not trying.

You pig.

See no one cares if you’re big.

the story becomes less poetic.

 

If the symptoms we see look more like buns than bones 

Someone fading into dust. Into nothing

Is a more romantic ideal than someone who just

Gets bigger and bigger but until they’re unable to move

the underlying issues they have to fight just to prove

 

Abuse? Assault? Depression?

We have a pill for that.

Good News! Then you won’t  have to be fat!

Anymore.

like that’s really what’s wrong.

 

I’m not taking away from those who limit.

I want them to get the support they need

But where’s the Netflix dramas about people like me?

People who consume calories like crack.

People who weren’t taught how to handle feeling sad

or angry

or down

or anything at all.

People who’ve been made all their lives to feel small

Unattractive, Invisible, not there at all 

People who try to recover from traume

 By using what’s on their fork to crest a flesh covered barrier.

 

You want to know what’s really killing the NHS?

It’s our lack of awareness about mental health.

The problem with big people is not really what we eat.

it’s bias from society, from the media, from people we meet

from plus size brands, as if that term isn’t demeaning enough

 

Who thinks people my size want to wear stuff

To hide ourselves, rather than take up a room

Shrink inwards, stay low, keep quiet and shy

But who are you to deny

Me from takin up all the space I like.

 

what inspired this poem? 

anger, rage.

At close-minded mentalities, thin privilege, fat shaming

We’re producing a generation obsessed with food.

Divided into good or bad

clear or dirty

real or fake

maybe we all should just take 

a step back

think twice

Before we judge how someone lives their own life.

 

Everyone’s got their own shit.

Fat people too.

but being fat doesn’t make us worth any less than you.