It started when i was 5.

The feelings.

Now as a kid, a cute one at that,

i knew i couldn't be choosing between one parent or the next

its just that, 

my dad buys me the things i see on TV

while my mom just changes the channel.

 

Then i turned 10

My scale was definitely tipping towards my dad.

On my birthday i really wanted to go to disney world.

My mom surprised me with a new backpack 

and my dad surprised me with plane tickets.

 

I was 12.

It was my first ever school performance and i had a solo.

My dad came an hour early with cookies for my class

while my mom came an hour late,

with my sick grandma and 4 siblings stumbling after her.

 

Then i turned 13.

I got my period but was too embarrased to tell my dad.

My mom took my to the store to buy me tampons and icecream.

we watched my favorite movie that night,

it was actually pretty fun.

 

On my 14th birthday my dad never called.

My mom and i went shopping for too-expensive makeup and over priced clothes.

The last store we went to she had to count out the last 70 cents from her purse.

i offered to pay but she wouldn't let me.

The next day my dad took me to 6 flags and gave me 100 dollars.

 

Im 15.

My is scale tipped all the way.

I realize no amount of money could buy my love.

I realize,

I love you mom.