Rape.
It led to my silence.
For a year I let what happened control me, let HIM control me.
Fear.
I was scared.
Scared it would happen again, scared that the nightmares I had every night would squirm into reality.
But first,
I should've told somebody.
Should've gone to court.
Should've never gone that night.
Should've had HIM locked up.
Shouldn't have let HIM walk free
Without punishment.
I was the one being punished
Shunned by my father
Alone.
I felt alone
even surrounded by groups of people.
A Year.
365 days passed
of my life in shambles.
Gone.
I was gone-
detached from society, an outsioutsider, they call me a
Victim.
I was a victim.
I refuse to be a victim now.
He walks the halls at school- I stare him in the eye.
He looks down
-afraid of me?
No.
He's afraid of himself.
He's afraid he'll be punished,
Afraid his actions have consequences.
He's afraid now, not me.
I'm happy.
I'm strong.
I'm refusing to let my past define me.
I'm moving past the past-
Away from the horror of last December
Away from him.
I'm gone still.
Not detached.
Just gone.
Gone from my past,
In my present,
Going towards my future-
Not as a victim.
I'm a survivor.