Healthy

It’s not healthy

For your kids to fear coming home
To their own mother.
For your children
To pray that you’re asleep
So that they can
Sneak through the front door
Without you being there
Picking fights.

(Where were you?)

I told you where I was going

(You never told me that)

You didn’t listen

(I thought something horrible happened)

You never listen

[15 new voicemails]

They all end in the same way

(because I love you)

 

You don’t have to be there

In the doorway

Plate of cookies in hand

Asking how school went

Just don’t plant

Land mines

On the floor

Where someone could trigger

An explosion


It’s not healthy
To drink
An entire bottle
Of wine
(party sized)
In one or two days
Especially not
When you’re on
Antidepressants
And pain medication
It only makes your insomnia worse
It only makes you argumentative
You’ll probably just trip and fall
In the dead of night
(and wake the whole house up)

And don’t make up excuses

(Well I was tired….)

Every time

(Well I had just taken my meds….)

That you do something wrong

(Well if you hadn’t fucked it up…)

(I did it because I love you)

 

I know your life was hard

Bad things happen to everyone

So tell your loved ones

If you feel sad

Let them help you

Let them help you to get help

See a therapist

Talk it out

Be honest

You don’t need

To face your demons

On your own

But please

Just let us in


It’s not healthy
To bully your children
To call them names
(pussies)
(you’re so cruel)
(you sociopaths)
(fucking monsters)

(I’m only telling you guys the truth)

(because I love you)

 

You should be complimenting them

Encouraging them

Teaching them to soar

Instead of chaining them

To the ground


It’s not healthy
To make your teenage son cry

You weakling
Boys are allowed to cry
But it shouldn’t be
Because their mother
Is a bully

They shouldn’t be told

Stop crying

To swallow their feelings

You pussy

And pretend they aren’t wounded

Man up

Don’t hurt him

To make him “stronger”

(I’m making you tougher)

(because I love you)

 

A mother’s love

Should be comforting

Supportive

Protect him from the bullies

Teach him

To stand up to monsters

Tell him

It’s ok to feel sad

He can cry

He isn’t weak

He isn’t less of a man

For having emotions


It’s not healthy
To keep coming back
To your children’s rooms
Trying to continue a fight
Because you didn’t get the last word

Your husband
Shouldn’t have to drag you away
Because you’re bullying your children

Leave them alone

They have school tomorrow

It’s midnight
They just want to sleep

(I want you to know the truth)

(I want you to know you’re wrong)

(because I love you)

 

Don’t get so hung up

On whether you won an argument or not

It’s probably not important

By morning

You won’t even remember

Having the argument


It’s not healthy
To force your family to say
“I love you”
When we all know
It’s a lie

(because I love you)

 

A healthy relationship

A healthy love

Should be shown

Not told

Show it through actions

Not empty words

Because you love me

 

This poem is about: 
My family

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