why think a thought when you can sin it?
why tell the truth when you can spin it?

our father who art exacerbating thy parents’ cathoholicism,
hallowed be thy indoctrination,
thy kingdom come thy will be done in earth as it is in ignorance

opening eyes is for the weak
throw wide those motherfuckers

and so this is what the world looks like from behind thick fringe
and the law of conservation of cynicism says it will look the same even after a haircut,
but the more you look, the more you feel, and the more you feel, the more you begin to unhinge

on my honor I will try to serve myself the hope and reality to get by
in a pill
because my mind is ill
because society abhors anyone willing to kill
herself

blood letting was proven ineffective,
but now it seems a pretty good means to purge these mental demons I have elected

count the number of times you use the word hate
and how many time will you watch your own blood coagulate?

my brain chemistry is altered
a new personality is constructed
my emotions are bankrupted

my pre frontal cortex does all the talking
I know we’ve been friends for seven years, but I have no problem walking
out

empathy is what keeps me human
but I’m sitting on the fence
straddling the fine line between Susan B. Anthony and Charles Manson

I’m perfectly nonviolent,
but I’m always in my head
my license says born in 1994
but mentally, in a few years, I should be dead

my mother says, “You think too much. This is why you’ll never have friends.”
and though I’m always in my mind, every axon leads to dead ends

I’ve travelled only to walk this razor’s edge
I’ve wandered only to find myself

I still marvel at my inability to shed a single tear
I still refuse to let anyone near
I still will not let my thoughts be clear
I still wait for those demons to rear
their ugly heads

I still cannot quantify my own fear
So for your own sake, just be here