Dereliction

My Skai,
Sometimes, I wish it would all just stop.
The lights, the sounds, and feelings.
I swore to myself that I would stop,
That I would finally be myself,
But, I guess that stopped with you.

You saw the real me,
Raw and unchanged.
You saw my strengths,
And you saw my weaknesses.
I thought you were safe.

I swore and promised myself,
Over and over
that you would never hurt me,
But I guess I was wrong.

I became accustomed to your gentle sweetness,
To you selfless help,
And your passion for justice.

I saw you through rose tinted glasses,
From the day I first met you,
Seeing only your potential for greatness,
Not the fears of an uncertain teenager,
Struggling to find a happiness of your own.

Eventually, everything finally felt right,
And after what seemed to be years,
My seemingly dumb, sweet prince had finally come,
and swept me off my feet.

I should have kept my wits,
Should have stuck to my one rule,
“Trust Nobody, or else you get hurt.”
But I still did.

I trusted you with my fears,
My thoughts,
My feelings,
And my heart;
But I guess somethings aren’t meant to be.

I understand why you needed to end it.
I would have to if I was stuck dating me,
An unstable mess,
Like a bomb with a faulty timer,
Never knowing when it would go off.

But you were kind enough to give me hope,
Let me believe that for once,
It wasn’t my fault,
And that maybe you would be ready later.

But how can I ever believe that,
When you can’t stand to be within five feet?
When you shuffle away,
And ignore me when I try to say hello?

I trusted you with everything,
And for that,
My world is slowly crumbling.
And yet,
I find myself willing to go through it all again.

K. Suzette

This poem is about: 
Me
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