I’m dead inside at least thats how it feels,

I’m much to numb to finish any meals,

They say I have a perfect life and that I’m spoiled as hell,

But what does that matter if my heart’s an empty shell?

I don’t want to be here anymore at all,

I fantasize about what it would be like to fall.

I try to care but it never works very well,

And daily this smile I just continue to sell.

My life is fake and its falling apart,

It seemed so great when I was first at the start.

Why can’t things go back to the way they used to be?

When nothing mattered and my mind was light and free.

Is this necessary? All of this crap thats going on?

Was my mind damned from the start to eventually be gone?

I don’t think this is what was supposed to happen at all,

It seems like death’s power I’m just trying to stall.

I look around and see everyone free of fears,

While inside and at night I’m just consumed in tears.

I try to be strong ‘cause that seems to be the theme,

But I cant always do that and the attempt just ends with a scream.

The rage takes over my entire mind,

My blood rises and my teeth start to grind.

Why can't we all be perfect and sunny!

Did I do something wrong? why do people think its funny?

Why they all laugh and make their jokes,

This bloody rag just sits and soaks.

I've had enough; why am I here?

The pain is to much and it starts to sear.

But maybe the hurt isn't too much,

and death will begin to loose his clutch.

This makes me stronger to endure all this crap,

Existence is a blessing not a trap.

So tomorrow I will get up again and fake a smile once more,

But eventually it will turn real since my acting is sore.

It’s okay to have cracks in a less than perfect mind,

And at last maybe someday a purpose I will find.