Am I really here? 

Is this really happening?

Is this what it feels like to be gone?

The thing is that I'm not ready to be here, it’s nice and all but it's not my time.

I thought being gone would answer all my questions but they were left unanswered.

I never appreciated all the things that I had in my life and now I'll never get to.

I guess you win some and you lose some in the long run.

You win the memory and the knowledge you lived and learned but you lose your the ability to continue doing that.

How can this be heaven if I know I don’t belong?

I know my faults and for that reason I know I don’t belong.

I don’t see a line of people at this gate.

I don’t see anyone in site.

I feel so empty inside.

Is this all real or is it just a dream?

Can I pinch myself and suddenly awake from my sleep?

How can I live with myself any longer?

This is hell, being stuck with myself for the rest of my mental existence.

I had such a big heart but the spot of darkness grew and consumed me.

I always said it wouldn’t matter, and now it does.

If only I could make up from this dreadful dream and right my wrongs.

Love my family and rid myself of the darkness that has consumed my heart.

I can live to see another day and enjoy the time I have.

I guess what they say about time is true.

It may seem unlimited but it does come to an end and well my end was too soon.