Dear Mom and Dad

Location

01063
United States
42° 19' 8.6628" N, 72° 38' 22.2324" W

Dear Mom and Dad

I want to know why
I am expected to parent others before
I parent myself. I want to know what ever happened
to the smiling little girl you point to in the pictures who
brought you so much you couldn’t help but
show her off in albums and wallet-sized photos
to strangers on subway platforms and
crumbling sidewalk squares.
I want to know how she really saved her daddy’s life,
how she really saved her sister’s,
why she really can’t remember any of it anymore.

I came out to you last year, and since
have been labeled selfish and toxic and different
than the rest of you, when
just four years ago I was your rock,
your strength, your pride and inspiration.
I want to know where that girl went
or if she was ever really there in the first place.
I want to know why I never got to meet her.

You say you thought I’d turn out different?
Well let me tell you—so did I.
I swore I’d be an actor,
introduce you to my stage, my
lights, my skinny little body, my
one-woman show, my
blue-eyed, blond Prince Charming.

I know gay is a scary word and it doesn’t
match the dreams you had, but
I want you to know those were your
dreams, not mine, and if you ever
try to plant those seeds again,
I might not make it like last time.

So please, when say I need my space,
stand two seas away, and
when my words turn sour, hold me tight until
your joints are stiff and brittle, and
when I say I’m not hungry, sit there ‘till I
eat what’s on my plate.
Let me squeeze your hand,
let me claw and kick, and tell me
I’m strong enough to beat this,
that I’ve come so far.
I think you’re forgetting how much
kids need their parents when their worlds are falling apart.
I know I’m getting older but
I’m not the only one—I can’t be your rock,
but maybe I can be your
daughter.

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741