Dear Mom,

I woke up today screaming and then realized it was just a nightmare.

I don’t know why you didn’t come to check on me but I know I will be okay.

 

Dear Mom,

I woke up late for school today and I know that’s not your fault

I just wish you were here to wake me up like you used to.

 

Dear Mom, 

I met a girl last night at work, she has your eyes and the most beautiful smile

I told her she was a girl I’d like to bring home to meet you

 

Dear Mom, 

I don’t know what to do. I was just fired from my job and now my girlfriend’s pregnant

How can I take care of this child without a job, you did it with me, I wish you told me how

 

Dear Mom,

We welcomed my daughter into the world today.

I couldn’t help but think about how you react when you hold a baby and see their smile.

 

Dear Mom,

Ever since you left I’ve been wondering something

Why is that all of the good people in my life have to leave me

Why is that you had to go at such a crucial point in my life

There was so much you haven't taught me

I don't even know how to laundry or pay bills

I'm still so young why did you have to go

 

Dear Mom,

My girlfriend left me because I’ve been too depressed to roll out of bed to check on the baby

I’ve been too depressed to fill out job applications or even make our family food

I’ve been too sad to move, I feel like I’m hardly breathing

Why did you have to leave me when everything was going right

The moment you left was the moment a part of me was taken as well

The day you took your last breath was the day I physically took my last breath

The day you took your last step was the day I took my last step

 

Dear Mom,

I just want to be a kid again

I want to be 6 years old and have you make up stories before kissing me goodnight

I want to be 10 years old again where I didn’t have to worry about love, or debt

When I didn’t know the consequences of not paying a bill on time

When I didn’t know that texting while driving would someday cost your life.

When I didn’t know that at the age of 18 you wouldn’t be in my life anymore

When I didn’t know anything about becoming a man

You told me life was going to be easy but I didn’t know I would be crying every night without you

here

I didn’t know life would be so hard without you

I didn’t know my life would be so damn hard

 

Dear Mom,

Technology is taking over the world

Texting and driving killed you but somehow I can’t keep my hands on the wheel but instead I

can’t keep them off my phone

 

Dear Mom,

I wish I could take back all of the hateful things I said to you

I wish I could tell you “I love you” just one more time and kiss your cheek before hanging out

with my friends

I wish I could sing all of the songs in the car with you on our way to whatever destination we

headed to

I wish I could hear your voice and see you smile one last time

I wish I could take it back.

 

Dear Mom,

I’m sorry you were in the car when I reached for my phone

 

2/27/2017