I should be calling you by a different name.
I didn’t understand why others and I were not the same.
I have visions sometimes of a large hand enveloping my small one.
I remember the scent of happiness accompanied with blood in the air and the white walls which began to spun,
I saw a slight smile on your face
That seemed so out of place.
My birth was completely unexpected,
And yet you seemed the most affected
The line between dreams and reality blurred what would be
So it’s unclear if this was a cruel fantasy or a beautiful reality
The years passed and there were moments that you missed
That always made me regret that I even tried to persist.
You weren’t there to teach me how to ride a bike
Or how to read or how to fight,
You weren’t there to teach me to brave in front of a crowd
Or see me play or see me bow
The day we met, you made me the most proud
Today I wish I could say the same aloud.
I should hate your for all the pain and suffering I have been through,
All the embarrassment and pity that my family and friends would get used to.
But it’s fine because I turned out okay,
I grew up to be a daring and adventurous young woman who wouldn’t betray,
A young woman who loved everyone around her
A young woman who could never hate the man she should be referring to as her father!
The love that everyone else gave me was enough
And they will continue to help me grow tough