Cruel Forgiveness

Dear friend,

They say cheating is one of the worst things.

It only affects the other person in the relationship.

The truth is, it affects everyone.

I dare say as hard as a try I cannot forgive this person.

He isn’t my lover but my father.

God said in the Bible in the ten commandments to “Honor thy Father and thy Mother.”

I respect him, but how could I look at him, face-to-face, and say “I forgive you.”

 

It wasn’t fair how each broken promise seized my heart and soul.

How each time at school was a father-daughter dance and I had no one to dance with.

There was no one to tell me how boys should treat me.

It wasn’t fair when my mother had to be both parents.

How most of my friends have both their parents, disordered my thoughts.

Where was he?

He was nowhere to be found.

Unseen like a shadow that was not present in the darkness.

 

Displeased at his name coming from the lips of those who do not know.

In my mind, I know it happens. The cheating wasn’t the worse part.

It was leaving me like a popped tire on the side of the road.

It was I, wanting and wishing he would change his mind and come back.

It was hope, unforgiveness, heartbreak, and sorrow tied up into one remembrance.

 

How could I forgive him when all these things held me back?

Each relationship was a failure because they reminded me of how much it will hurt.

He took every speck of light I had in my innocence and traded me in darkness.

I said nothing to no one because words cannot reveal the hurt that is left in my vacant heart.

One day, my friend, I anticipate I will.

 

But not today nor tomorrow will be.

But one day.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
Guide that inspired this poem: 

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