I.

I am fascinated by numbers

I have an affinity for numbers.

I have written him 71 pages of poems.

14675 words and counting

2462 stanzas

3241 lines mounting.

Upon each other like

Molecules climbing up the walls of a beaker

To get out.

II.

I have an affinity for numbers.

I have kissed 3 men in less than 1 year

That would mean

A mean of 1 for every semester I spent waiting

After 24-18 months since you left and you

Never came back.

Arabs have always been fascinated with the number 0.

We invented the damn thing and we live by its wholesome truth—

That you did nothing for me.

III.

None have counted to infinity.

We have never come close because time is not infinite

And neither are you.

We have broken ourselves down

Time after time

Built ourselves up to

Be infinitely larger than you

And smaller than you

And more

And more

And we are only human

And I made my mistakes and I

Cower thinking of the day

That I might be unsure of

All the

Ratios that I am but not

Nearly as many as you

Are

And I hope this finds

You well and

Well

You are beyond my words and

My language

And my sins

And I have a hard time

Believing you could care about something like me

And that if you’ve already disowned me

And my excuses that all

Add up

To a limit

Approaching 0.

IV.

I think that you might be watching me

In the small space

Unoccupied by air molecules and Israelis

I think that you might be in the small fibers that cling to my skin

And in the nature in which

Inanimate objects have more stability than I

Or maybe you are in my mind

Watching me type words to myself so I

Might see that yes. There is something that isn’t you

Controlling the world

Something

That

I can control and dominate

And world power

And ending world hunger

And murdering heartbreakers

And distributing happiness

For all the depressed

So please,

Don’t respond

Leave me to have faith in you

I’ve failed multiple tests.

I’m sure I’ll fail more.

V.

But I will

Not

Be dragged down

By

Those who

Envy

My

Heart.