Because I loved you
“Because I loved you.”
Really?
That was love?
That was what
the books
the movies
the songs
rave about?
I’m not sure of that love,
but I am sure
that was not that love.
You argue, “It was that love.”
My protest stays silent.
But
when the silent comes too loud,
I think of the things
I should say-
I could say-
I would say-
to you about that love.
I would argue
the lies you dug about me
the beatings you gave me
the turmoil you left me
I would argue the times
you told everyone
I was disloyal
that I cheated
that I wouldn't hold only you
that I only wanted you for sex
I would say
that I shoved everyone else away
that only time your eyes
were only on me was when you kissed me
that I held myself to you so close
you called me clingy, obnoxious.
that there was a night you shoved
yourself on me, til no wasn’t a word.
I would fight you calling me broken
when the only thing that shattered me
was you
I would call you out on poisoning me
making him so hard to love
making me tremble when
he kissed me
making me worried he would be the same
I would.
But I won't.
Instead my protest will stay silent.
Instead I'll think to myself
what I should say-
what I could say-
what I won't say
to you about that love.