I should never flinch whenever someone gets close to me.

I should never feel the need to check over my shoulders every five minutes.

I should never have to feel like my words don’t matter,

That all they bring is trouble and are always wrong.

 

But it’s my fault.

You did it to tell me that what I said was wrong.

“Because I love you” you claimed as you comforted me after the fact.

Because you wanted me to learn.

I had to know my place,

the woman by your side.

Seen and not heard you said.

And those words echo in my head through the quiet night as I look over at you,

Sleeping quietly.

 

But the darkness never ran away just like the sting that comes with your hands

And I feel as though I’m lost within myself with nothing left to hope for.

This is love, this is all that I had dreamed for.

I believed you’d never lie to me.

 

You wanted what’s best but there was the insistent pull within

Crying, begging, pleading me to listen

as I shoved it farther and farther away

Listening to four words I begged to be reality

 

“Because I love you.”

 

But that’s not what I wanted.

I shouldn’t feel scared to talk about you with my friends.

Shouldn’t be hiding in my clothes, my body.

I shouldn’t be running away to answer your calls.

 

We should be a team.

Every moment building each other to our goals,

Talking about what gets us up in the morning

Showing that “save the world” attitude each moment.

 

Our minds should build off each other

in comfort both together and away

Bettering each other one moment, one word at a time.

 

Because I love you I will push you to be the best

No matter what may happen.

Because I love you I know I can walk away

But still find you beside me.

 

The darkness never wins with you around.

The demons back down when faced with you.

A safety net I frequent

Because you are light and warm and soft.

 

My past no longer confines me.

Each scar is another battle won

Each pound another day to go.

Every effort to fit in challenged with why I believe I am less than beautiful,

Why I don’t see my strength,

Why I am not my own image of worth.

 

Because I love you I am stronger.

Because I love you I am free.

Because I love you, I have no fear of today, tomorrow, or the future.