01.20.16//1912
As words crawl up and out of my throat
My fingers desperate to find the right note
Heart as heavy as lead but fragile as glass
Watching the ceiling fan, waiting for it to pass
The nausea the fatigue
Feels like there’s something wrong with me
Oh god I can’t breathe
Slowly suffocating and the room grows dark
My lungs are collapsing and falling apart
The walls, oh god, they’re closing in
The whispers in the hall speak of my sin
And I know I was wrong
Still singing the same old song
No pity for me, only pain
A dirty whore, one and the same
Self-loathing only gets you so far
My standards just weren’t up to par
My morals thrown out the window
Just laugh it off and say “so?”
But it’s not a game
And I’m the one to blame
But it takes two
Not just me, but also you
If I’m going to hell, I’m not the only one
You can pay the consequences for your fun